I’m sitting in my sacred space tonight, reflecting on the shifting of the seasons, and the palpable changes I’m sensing stirring on the winds. I can feel the coming storm of Mercury retrograde, and instead of allowing myself to tense and work myself into a tizzy like I usually do, I am stepping aside, free of any kind of judgement or opinion or reaction and simply allowing the energies to filter through me. I am taking the necessary steps to shield myself a bit more energetically, and I will be frequenting the internet and social media spaces less as a whole; I will also be working more closely with my guides over the next few weeks as not only retrograde comes into play but the thinning veil of the approaching Samhain Sabbat does, as well. Overall, though, I’m not feeling the usual panic that accompanies such a tumultuous astrological event.
Samhain, however, holds an interesting anticipation for me this year. As the veil begins to thin and the spirits begin to stir, I feel this need to root deeply into the earth and the season, and allow them fully into my energy sphere. I believe I can already hear the ancestors on the breeze, especially during this time of the (almost) new moon, and I want to sit with them, listen to them, and absorb their timeless wisdom and history. I want to open all of my senses, all of my intuition and gifts, those already present and those still latent, and really truly partake of this season in the way that our ancestors and ancients did. With magic and passion and presence. Reverence. This is a sacred and powerful season full of medicine and mystery.
The past few days have been ones of much needed magic and medicine for me. Especially yesterday. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary together, and what an incredible day it was. He and I went down by the river for a short time, and I was able to meditate with the sun on my skin and my toes in the dirt. I brought a few stones with me, as I always do – I am never without at least one or two stone companions these days – and I allowed myself to drift into the sky and the earth and the ethers, stones in hand, the wind in my hair. I was even able to tune out the sounds of the cars passing by on the bridge not far from where we were. A beautiful hawk came to keep me company for a time, soaring and gliding above me before disappearing across the river to hunt. My crows came to say hello, cawing and flirting with the breeze overhead. A Jerusalem cricket nestled in the dirt near my stones and feet before moving off and finding a place to nest. Numerous small sparrows and finches flew all around, their lovely songs filling the air with late summer sweetness. And all the while, the wind sighed through the trees and the river flowed quietly and yet strong, just like the blood inside my own veins. My husband sat quietly by my side, drinking in the beauty all around us, the nectar that is the pulse and the breath of life.
And last night was absolutely beyond words. I told him that for our anniversary I wanted to go out in the hills or trees somewhere, and watch the stars without any light pollution from the city. Well, he came through for me and then some. We found a beautiful place to park the truck that was far enough away from the city that the sky was a huge open canvas of stars and meteors. The moon was dark and the silence was so thick that at first it was suffocating. I forget sometimes just how quiet the wild places still are, for I am seldom able to escape to them these days. After a time, I relaxed into the stillness, and allowed myself to be pulled into the cool healing light of all the thousands of stars in the sky. My husband and I curled into one another, and didn’t say much save to ponder the vast complexities and mysteries of the Universe and all that lies beyond our scope of vision. I love that he is awakening to all that is out there, all of the unknowns and the possibilities, the uncomfortable places and spaces and questions that many in our sphere of existence don’t dare to venture into. Having a man who is present and coming into his own power is an incredible gift, one of sacred magic and mystery and beauty. I am honored to be his partner during his exquisite journey, just as I am so grateful he is beside me in mine.
It was magic. Pure, simple, beautiful magic. New traditions were formed, new history written. I cannot think of anything more sacred and magical than that.
When it was time to leave, I felt the bottom of my stomach drop just a little. How my heart and soul cry out for the healing silence of the wild places. How I long so much to be able to run wild and free through the trees and the mountains, the cool brisk winds of autumn chilling my naked skin. Howling at the moon with the creatures of the forest and the shadows. My kith and kin. Someday….
Autumn has and always will be my favorite time of year. The approaching darkness, the shadows and the chill, the groaning of the wind through the trees on a stormy night….all of the things that call to you, whisper to you on that wind…all of the things that go bump in the night. The slowing heartbeat of the earth Mother, in preparation for a season of withdrawal, rest, and internal journeys….I thrill at the mere thought of it all. This is truly my season, my time, and I continue to drink up the nectar and the medicine of the lengthening shadows and the ancestors calls through the rustling of leaves and cornstalks.
The journey to the shadows begins. May you all be blessed and well on your own descent into the darker half of the wheel. And so it is.